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Kat
Anxious Poster
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Wolverhampton, England
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 Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 Post subject: Hi from Kat! |
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Hello,
I'm a 30 year old female from the West Mids and I reckon I've had SA seriously for the past 4 years, but I was also really shy and anxious as a child.
For the past year and a bit, I've been educating my daughter at home and this has helped me to get out more, as I realise that it's bad for her to be stuck in all day, every day. Although, saying that, we only usually make it to the park across the road - I plan to go somewhere on the bus and then chicken out at the last minute :rolleyes:
Before that, I was working full-time until my SA finally got the better of me and I couldn't go outside my front door. That was almost 3 years ago and probably my lowest point 
I've thought a lot about counselling, but it would take a lot for me to ask for help at the moment, face-to-face. My husband sort of knows I don't like going out but apart from that, I don't have anyone to talk to. Unfortunately, I seem to have drifted away from friends - well, deliberately cut myself off might be a better explanation
And even though I'm quite close to my mom, I feel I would be too embarrassed to even mention it.
So, at the moment, I feel really alone and joining this forum is a way of getting help and who knows, I may be able to help others like me aswell, along the way. |
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iPlume
Calm Regular
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 79
Location: England, UK
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| Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 Post subject: |
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 why dont you take your husband with you to the doctors, or would it still be too much?
[oh btw i like your icon  ]
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Kat
Anxious Poster
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Wolverhampton, England
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 Post subject: |
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Hi iPlume 
| iPlume wrote: | | why dont you take your husband with you to the doctors, or would it still be too much? |
Well, two reasons really.
Firstly, he's in a crappy job at the mo', where he works 6 days a week (Mon-Sat), and he doesn't get much holiday. He's looking around and applying for other things, so hopefully that will change soon. I also have my daughter at home all day, as I have to teach her at home. I could ask my mom to take a morning/afternoon off to stay with her, but then I'd have to explain why and apart from me not being a very good liar, my mom is really, really nosey and interfering - not being nasty, but she is  - and I don't want her to find out.
Secondly, it's actually asking for help, the embarassment factor and not being able to face people. Also, I find it really difficult to say out loud how I feel. This is difficult enough with my husband, let alone a complete stranger. (Typing out words is a lot easier )
I hope this doesn't just come across as a load of silly excuses 
| iPlume wrote: | | [oh btw i like your icon ] |
Thanks  [/i] |
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iPlume
Calm Regular
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 79
Location: England, UK
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 Post subject: |
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| Kat wrote: | Well, two reasons really.
Firstly, he's in a crappy job at the mo', where he works 6 days a week (Mon-Sat), and he doesn't get much holiday. He's looking around and applying for other things, so hopefully that will change soon. I also have my daughter at home all day, as I have to teach her at home. I could ask my mom to take a morning/afternoon off to stay with her, but then I'd have to explain why and apart from me not being a very good liar, my mom is really, really nosey and interfering - not being nasty, but she is - and I don't want her to find out. |
my husbands in a crap job as well, hes works 12 hr shifts and sometimes 7 days a week! but we usally work it around what shifts he has off/when he works nights etc. as for your mum you could get your husband to tell her that hes wanting to take you out for a romantic meal and then go to the doctors with him. i'm sure she wont ask too many questions with that and even if she does just tell her shes being rude  if that falls explain to your surgery that you would like a home visit from a doctor, explaining that you dont feel comfortable going to the surgery to see one.
| Kat wrote: | Secondly, it's actually asking for help, the embarassment factor and not being able to face people. Also, I find it really difficult to say out loud how I feel. This is difficult enough with my husband, let alone a complete stranger. (Typing out words is a lot easier )
I hope this doesn't just come across as a load of silly excuses |
also you could write out what you wanted to say then hand it your doctor explaining that its easier for you to do than talking about it, with your husband their for added support. also if hes anything like mine he'll explain things that you cant or find difficult to to your doctor. and no, its not silly excuses, its finding whats comfortable for you to do. |
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Josh
Site Admin
Joined: 15 Nov 2006
Posts: 1648
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Kat
Anxious Poster
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Wolverhampton, England
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 Post subject: |
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Thanks Josh, I hope so too 
iPlume: I was having a good think about it last night and to be honest, I'm not very comfortable with doctors. I went to my GP (with my husband) in September 2003 with depression. I managed to explain that I was feeling depressed, then I started crying and she just straight away said she'd sign me off work for a week and wrote out a prescription for a month's worth of Cipralex. That was it - I was in and out in three minutes. She didn't seem to care or be very interested, and I just literally grabbed the prescription and ran because I was so embarrassed - about my condition and the crying. (I'm one of those who doesn't like crying in front of others).
I do feel a bit silly as well. I'm always telling myself off in my head for being silly.
May I ask what you did about getting help? |
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iPlume
Calm Regular
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 79
Location: England, UK
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| Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 Post subject: |
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| Kat wrote: | Thanks Josh, I hope so too
iPlume: I was having a good think about it last night and to be honest, I'm not very comfortable with doctors. I went to my GP (with my husband) in September 2003 with depression. I managed to explain that I was feeling depressed, then I started crying and she just straight away said she'd sign me off work for a week and wrote out a prescription for a month's worth of Cipralex. That was it - I was in and out in three minutes. She didn't seem to care or be very interested, and I just literally grabbed the prescription and ran because I was so embarrassed - about my condition and the crying. (I'm one of those who doesn't like crying in front of others).
I do feel a bit silly as well. I'm always telling myself off in my head for being silly.
May I ask what you did about getting help? |
where to begin 
erm well... i've always suffered for depression ALWAYS and i went off work in 2004 when i was a care assistant working at a home who just didnt care about anyone, not even the staff and i went to my doctor because i was crying everyday and self harming. i was bullied a lot at school as well so i guess this has all lead me to be the person i am today.
i think it first began when i couldent eat in front of others, i had to cover my mouth or eat in private even when at home.
a lot of stuff happened in between, i cant really remember it all to well but last year lead to me being off ill again with anxiety and depression. i was forced to see a doctor or i would have lost my job and not get sick pay. however the doctor i was seeing sucked and like you say didnt seem interested and gave me a bunch of pills....
saw a mental health nurse who was utterly crap! after seeing her for a few months and loosing my job because of my health she told me i needed to sort things out for myself! so pissed off me and my husband switched doctors and a lot of good has come of it.
they put me in touch with a new mental health nurse who i shall be seeing twice weekly, who has in turn put me in touch with a behavoural nurse and i've been in touch with the crisis team who call you up and talk about how things are. they generally deal with people who are near to commiting suicide etc.
plus i have had tons of help from my husband!
phew! and thats just in brief! |
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Kat
Anxious Poster
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Wolverhampton, England
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| Posted: Fri June 01, 2007 Post subject: |
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| iPlume wrote: |
i think it first began when i couldent eat in front of others, i had to cover my mouth or eat in private even when at home. |
That's a problem for me too, but only in front of strangers 
| iPlume wrote: |
a lot of stuff happened in between, i cant really remember it all to well but last year lead to me being off ill again with anxiety and depression. i was forced to see a doctor or i would have lost my job and not get sick pay. however the doctor i was seeing sucked and like you say didnt seem interested and gave me a bunch of pills....
saw a mental health nurse who was utterly crap! after seeing her for a few months and loosing my job because of my health she told me i needed to sort things out for myself! so pissed off me and my husband switched doctors and a lot of good has come of it.
they put me in touch with a new mental health nurse who i shall be seeing twice weekly, who has in turn put me in touch with a behavoural nurse and i've been in touch with the crisis team who call you up and talk about how things are. they generally deal with people who are near to commiting suicide etc. |
Well, we moved about 7 months ago, so I don't know what mine are like - which, I think, may be part of the problem.
| iPlume wrote: | | plus i have had tons of help from my husband! |
I've just told mine tonight about SA - well, let him read some information about SA, as I was too embarrassed to just say. Before that, as I said in my intro, he just knew that I didn't like going out socially 
Anyway, I feel a bit relieved now (and tearful )
Sorry about putting you on the spot and thanks for telling me about your experiences. I'm just trying to sort out what will be the best way of going about it  |
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