Social Anxiety Forums

MyGoal · Anxious Poster Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 28

Hello everyone
I came here last weekend and had a look around and was tempted to register. Then I got scared, and I came back again today and decided to step into the forum this time not so scared. Although I have offline friends who are my support network, who now know about my social anxiety and understand what fears I have, I felt I would like to also have connections with those who suffer in the ways I do.
I've suffered from SA right back to early childhood. Last month I reached the end of the road. I had become so introverted and isolated myself from so many things, and people that I just wanted to give up. I had made choices based on minimising anxiety and what I had done was lived avoiding many things and situations. Life becomes small when you do that slowly over a period of time. Constant depression set in, lethargy, bad eating habits etc. I thought one day.....I've given up, I've given up on myself! I could live years and years like this and I don't want to, this is a prison and I am the one holding the key. I wouldn't say it was a lightbulb moment because I've had many of them time and time but this one was the finale. So I have set about working on this, focusing on me, and facing the fears. No more blame on upbringing, teachers, parenting, society, extroverts or whoever else pushes me insecure sensitive buttons and that is a big step, getting past blame. And I'm not even blaming myself. I'm a sensitive person, everything I experience in life is louder and so it hurts more, the emotions react more, the body reacts more and so on. I really want to master this, I don't expect it to go away entirely but I am beginning to actually see it's worth cos I'm a caring person, easily hurt, embarrassed, shamed and it manifested cos I am a good person. I think it is hard for us because we experience so many failures day in day out. Even choosing to not go somewhere, it's failure. And the sad thing, we are often so isolated and alone in our minds and hearts and these constant failures just wear us down. And no one understands us.
So My Goal is my name but before it was My Gaol/jail, and I am working on turning it around, a little at a time so that my day is peppered with small successes and the failures won't be so destructive or loud anymore.
Thank you

Hobo · Posted: Sat April 28, 2007 Post subject:

Hey, welcome MyGoal.

It is good to hear you are taking steps to work on your anxiety. I also used to be in a really bad way, but now I am taking small steps foward and gaining more confidence. I know social anxiety will never completely go away, but hopefully we can all take steps and keep gaining confidence.

You really have to keep pushing yourself. It is definately frustrating when people don't understand. I've only met a few people who actually understand. Other social anxiety sufferers, and a very good teacher. You really have to forget about what others are thinking.

Hope you continue with the small successes, and good luck to you.

Josh · Posted: Sat April 28, 2007 Post subject:

Welcome to the forums MyGoal.

Forums are good place to practice developing your communicating skills. Unlike real life where you always have to think of what to say on the spot, forums allow you as much time as you want to think of what to say. Not only that you only choose which conversations you want to partake in.
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MyGoal · Anxious Poster Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 28

Thanks for the welcome Smile

Yes I think it's good to connect with others. I'm glad I have and I look forward to being here. I'm taking steps everyday and it's going well and I"m not wanting to dwell on the pain or experiences of the past, it's time to work. And Hobo, yes what you said about it never going away, that was one of the biggest sadnesses I accepted but also it was liberating too. I thought, well if I can minimise it, and live with it but mostly accept it, it will not have so much impact on my life. Miraculously that shifted me into a new place of hope and faith in my ability to change, plus a big decrease in anxiety, social and generalised. Acceptance has been a big step.
And coming to a forum, seeing others with it, helps in the acceptance.