Social Anxiety Forums

lauraleanne

Hi,

I'm new to this site, but have had this problem for such a long time, I have been under Doctors/Psychiatrists for years and was misdiagnosed with having depression, but it was only agter reading into anxiety/depression, that I realised that I was suffering with Social Anxiety and as a result of how it makes me feel leaves me feeling depressed and worthless.

I feel like I have 3 problems rolled into 1 and wondered if anyone can relate to how I feel.

Ultimately I feel like I have a major problem with my memory where I cant remember much from my past. I struggle to think of the right word(s) to describe things, i.e. what I have been doing, my thoughts, etc. Then when I do speak it very often comes out wrong and jumbled. Then I have the constant worries of not knowing what to say to people and that if I do speak my words won't come out properly and I might not be able to think of what to say. Even when speaking to people, i'm always concentrating on myself and making sure I say something interesting or appropriate, that I don't actually take it what they are saying.

When I tell my Doctor/Psychologist, they are never too worried about my memory and think it is the anxiety that makes me feel this way, because I am putting myself under so much pressure to appear normal and things like conversations that are supposed to be natural aren't because I rehearse what I am going to say beforehand.

Does anybody have any solutions of how you stop focusing on yourself and being so self conscious so that you actually take in what is happening around you??

I am so scared that I am losing my mind and I am only 26.

Please help me.

I am currently thinking of seeking help with hypnotherapy as I don't know what else to try, even though I have seen feedback which suggests it does not help, but I feel like I don't know what else to try. I have had CBT in the past, but couldn't concentrate enough to take it in.

I feel like my whole life is a blur and I constantly test my memory, trying to think of when certain things happened, etc, I just want to feel relaxed and at ease with myself for once in my life.

Sorry to ramble.

Laura

Blue · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 Post subject:

I always remember things that have happened to me in the past but they are not major and that depresses me and before i go out in social gatherings i always think of things i can say to make a conservation but most of the time when i say these things they never turn into one i dont think ive ever had a proper conversation i can never express myself i know what i want to say but it never comes out right an i just end up sounding stupid or get accused of taking drugs. hate this anxiety its ruined my life so far but at least im only young and have found out more about it just hope i can find the right help thaat i need but im afraid i wont be able to reading some of the coments on here and other websites

Josh · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 Post subject:

If you think you can't cure anxiety because of what you read on forums etc., then you must remember that people who cure anxiety don't post much on forums. I think its possible to cure anxiety (my anxiety has improved but is not totally gone).

I also have a memory problem. Last time I went to the doc and I did a blood test. Turns out I was iron deficient, whcih causes fatigue and impairment of memory. Have you had a blood test recently?
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lauraleanne · Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 Post subject: more memory issues

Thanks for replying guys.

Yes I've had several blood tests in my time, to check things like under active thyroid, which can consequently cause low moods, but they have never picked up on any defects.

It's the one thing that haunts me though, I worry about it 24/7, I even look up words in dictionary's when I can't remember what something means. But I mean my memory is so scatty beyond belief, I struggle to remember what I have done from day to day and if I watch something, i.e. films, I can't remember what happens or how I would put it into words if I was explaining to someone else what it was about.

I don't know, just wish I could stop obsessing about it, then it would probably come to me easier.

Does anyone else feel increasingly selfish, as they only think about themselves and their problems??

Casca · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 Post subject:

i can definitely relate to this. i too have issues remembering and organizing my thoughts. for myself i think this comes from lack of practice when compared to others. as an only child i never had to quote movies or tell plot lines cause there usually wasn't anyone to tell and i never needed to remember names because my single parent mother always knew what i was talking about before it was out of my mouth so everyone basically was what's-his-name.

while i do get all the nervous issues related to SA the real problem is an extreme level of "forgetting" or not knowing even basic social rules that 6 year olds seem to know. to me this is the difference between social phobia and anxiety. i think anxiety is something everyone has to a certain degree where as social phobia (which i feel i have) is a more deeply rooted issue. half the time i don't remember words or how to pronounce them, i never call people by name, trying to communicate is so difficult because it takes me a novel to say what others seem able to explain in a sentence. i have very little real knowledge about what's socially appropriate and have never felt connected to another person (not even my family) even though they seem attached to me.

i feel very self involved and can't imagine i'll ever feel connected to society. i don't enjoy people- not just because i'm nervous but because i can't even begin to relate to them and usually am really bored with their interests. usually when i go out with people i end up feeling like they've robbed me of time i could have had with myself that would have actually been fun. i'm sure this partly a coping mechanism. i feel like to be a part of the world you need to be somewhat generic or else really good at finding unique people.

i want to get better so i can achieve career success but don't want the feeling of being trapped which i associate with a social life. so the question is how do you get better when you don't want to and when you feel your brain is damaged from not exercising the verbal centers? does anyone here know of any programs for social phobia that work similarly the spa type inpatient programs for drug abuse?

Bravetailor · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 Post subject:

Everyone forgets things at times. For instance, I'm terrible with names and most people I know are better than me at remembering them. But I don't "feel" like it is abnormal on my part, it's more a consequence of being out of practice (I have a limited circle of people I know).

Are you actually forgetting important events in your life? One doesn't expect you to remember every action of your life (let's face it, at least half of most people's days are pretty much like any other--wake up, work, sleep. It would be silly to have you remember what you ate for lunch on a Tuesday 3 weeks ago). But if you're forgetting, for example, that you went to see "Iron Man" in the theatres two weeks ago, then maybe it is a deeper problem.

Or is it more a problem of organizing your thoughts and expressing them verbally? If so, then that is, naturally, a normal consequence of not being comfortable socially.

determinator · Posted: Mon July 07, 2008 Post subject:

i can relate and understand 100% with what your saying too.. It amazes me so much every time i read posts on here that other people actually experience the same things i am - things i would never of guessed.

The memory thing happens to me alot but I never thought to associate that with social anxiety but it does make sense now that you say it.. i always just thought I was bad at expressing myself or just generally had a shit memory from smoking too much pot when i was younger... like someone else said, it takes me so much to say or expres ssomething that someone else could say in a sentence. I worry that this isnt even making sense..

i can watch a movie and watch it again a few months later as if I had never seen it before..

When i listen to music i cant for the life of me follow the lyrics, i automatically listen to melody - even if i try follow lyrics i lose concentration.

I dont know if this is related (i only mention it because u mentioned CBT) but when i broke up with my gf a while ago, it really effected me badly.. no one could understand why it effected me more than the normal person (including myself) - I even went to a physcologist and did CBT but like you, couldnt concentrate on it... the thing that really frustrated me was even though I knew the answers and what everyone else was saying/giving me advice was true - i just couldnt accept it or take it in.. but this might be completely irrelevent i dont know..