copperfrog
Terrified Newbie
Reputation: 0
Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
Location: New Zealand
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 Posted: Sun March 16, 2008 Post subject: Hi There - This is Chris and I am new to this forum |
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Hi
My name is Chris, I'm 25 and from New Zealand.
I think I first started suffering from this disorder from about 10 years old. I got bullied considerably and came from a extremely dysfunctional family. Combining this with a naturally shy demeanour meant that I had my confidence robbed from me throughout my teens.
Because of this I have built up considerable anger towards others as well as a lack of trust. Quite often, I will avoid meeting new people as I fear they will criticize and laugh at me. I refuse to let them have the opportunity and satisfaction.
I am pretty much a loner and am ashamed of it. If I had to personify the loneliness that I feel I would have to say that I have a rather sad view of the world as being a completely isolated, desolate and godforsaken sort of place.
I see other people for whom are my age enjoying themselves and living their life to the fullest and I seem to have nothing but anger and animosity towards them. Really, I am extremely jealous and envious of them as they are at the stage of their lives for that I wish I was.
Deep down I don't think that I am a bad guy and I think I am more than capable of being friendly and sociable. At this stage of my life, I feel that I am being weighed down by all of the anger and bullshit (Sorry!) from my past and it is preventing me from developing into a decent human being.
That is it for now. I think I have vented quite throughly and strangely I do feel bit better.
Thanks for reading.
Cheers
C |
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