Social Anxiety Forums

SpaceMonkey · Posted: Mon March 10, 2008 Post subject: Hello! =) [anybody there??!]

G'day guys.

SpaceMonkey here, from down under.
As an intro, lemme tell you why I'm here.

I'm 19 y/o. I'm a dreamer. With every step I take to close-in on my dreams and goals (wtvr they may be), I face some sort of roadblock. Many of these barriers can be overcome with patience, determination, yada yada...

Well, there is something I realised only last year; an insurmountable challenge that, I feel, prevents me from going any further. Social anxiety.

These last few weeks have been terror -- although I'm certain they have changed me for the better. I've dropped out of uni, much to the dismay of my family (and it certainly wasn't just because of S.A.), so now I'm forced to take up a job. The so-called "real world" has smacked me across the face! Wonderful.

Stuff like calling people up used to terrify me, but with enough repetition it's all pretty good now. I've also set myself small goals like going shopping alone, and I'm proud of my progress up to this point. If you've bothered to read this far, thank you. =) Here's the kicker:

With each small goal that I manage to accomplish, I feel like shit afterwards. Like I just wanna give up. And it can last for weeks sometimes. Rather than worrying about any specific activity, I think I may have developed an aversion to all the depressive feelings that follow the activity. Re-read that last part...

See, there is no one else that I can share my progress with. And I always end up in the same old environment, around the same old people who are too afraid to challenge the boundaries of their own lives. For that reason, no matter how much I think I've come along, I'm constantly reminded that I might as well accept the hand that I've been dealt. Yuck, no way homie!!

One of the major steps I've taken to get this part of my life handled is to see a psychologist. Alas, an hour/fortnight is not what I'm about!

So the reason I'm here is this: I wish to make contact, and perhaps closer connections with anybody else who can relate to the things I'm saying, who also wish to take life by the horns and ultimately become comfortable and natural around other people.

Here is my email address: bigchief0142000@yahoo.com <<Add me on messenger if ya wanna. And, no, I'm not selling anything, like magic pills. lol

And let's lively up the forum, ha. What have YOU been up to to overcome this wacky irrational inconvenience. I would love to know, really.

Glad to be here,

SpaceMonkey
~Sacrificing myself for the greater good XD

Josh · Posted: Mon March 10, 2008 Post subject:

Welcome to the forums SpaceMonkey. That was a well written first post - I quite enjoyed reading it.
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Angie · Posted: Fri March 14, 2008 Post subject:

You should be quite proud of the progress you have made. I'm impressed. I completely agree with the phone phobia thing. The more you talk, the easier it is. Problem with me is I got out of that habit so I communicate with friends mostly by e-mail, and text message. (Doh!) But they're all very understanding so it's all right.

Feel free to post your progress. I'll be happy to listen, and cheer you on. I have never had a better feeling than the first time I went to the grocery store on my own. I walked in my front door, and screamed with happiness. Embarassed

Glad my neighbors weren't home!

What was your reaction the first time you went somewhere on your own? I'm curious to know.

SpaceMonkey · Posted: Sat March 22, 2008 Post subject:

Thanks for the reply, Angie.

smith9999 · Posted: Tue March 25, 2008 Post subject:

I think you may have an easier time if you could find a friend or someone else to go out with. I know for me even the tought of going alone would amke me that much more uncomfortable.

Angie · Posted: Tue March 25, 2008 Post subject:

That is a great goal to make! I love the reasoning behind it. I think I would react in the same way - if I got bored, I'd just have to talk to someone. Mind if I copy you? Only I think I'll pick a different social setting. Not much of a bar person, maybe I'll start with baby steps, and check out the library. Haha

Good luck to you! And keep us all up to date! Very Happy

Bobby · Calm Regular Reputation: 0 Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 57

Welcome to the forums spaceMoney!

Broken · Posted: Tue June 17, 2008 Post subject: Good plan...proof that it works...but

Hey Space, that bar idea is really good, but a Nightclub maybe a better place to start with, since the music is really loud and all you need do is offer to buy someone drinks to start off a conversation Wink

.

I normally go out with a close friend and with a few Mr. Green

in me can strike up the courage to talk to anyone. Well it might be really hard at the start but with boredom+ alchohol+ peer pressure + the will power to get over S.A.D. Anyone with S.A.D/no S.A.D. can go up to girl in a niteclub and chat her up.

If have nothing to say? try questions that are guaranteed answers....like "Whats you're name?"..."Wana drink?" :p, the KEY is DONT be afraid of rejection...happens to the best, and with all the loud music and rowdiness its impossible to hold real conversation (bonus). My close friend which is really outgoing gets rejected 8/10 times LOL, but never gives up because of the 2/10 chance.

If you are able to overcome the fear of rejection from a girl and inititated the conversation....but unfortunately ur S.A.D. kicks in = uncomfortable silences (End of the world, omg gonna make a fool outta myself, i feel like dying). A good escape is "sorry i have to look for my friend somewhere, chat to you latter ok?" Wink

.

The Niteclub is a really good practise ground for social interaction for people with S.A.D.(even girls), when people are drunk it is proven that they are more socialiable, and anyways a girl in a niteclub may reject more than 20 guys wanting to hit on her, you are just one of them, she wont judge you or even remember you. With enough practise (years for me) getting a phone number is not a problem Smile

, which is one of the biggest confidence booster a guy with S.A.D can have. Good Luck, let me know how it goes Cool