Social Anxiety Forums

capt morgan · Terrified Newbie Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 9

hi everyone i am new to this forum...i would rather keep my real name annomuse, so if no one minds i will just go by morgan....anyway i am from pa but joined the military about 1 and half ago and i am now stationed in oklahoma....i am 26 year old...i enjoy the outdoors, camping, and horseback riding....i actually own a horse who i moved down here back in march of this year...my horse and i have adjusted pretty well to our new home...anyway i guess i really started to notice that i suffered from GAD, about a year ago...the symptoms started to get real noticable during my senior year in college....but i did not identify that it was a real problem until i got into the military and was able to afford to see a doctor(by the way because of what i do in the military i am unable to take meds for this problem, i must find other ways to cope)...i do know through those few years when i was not dignosed that there was something really wrong with me...my sisters had the same hard background and the same uncertain future..but it was i who seemed to be crippled by fear...so much so it altered my life...so i decided to seek help with this condition i am tried of trying to fight this alone and the people around not understanding
and telling me to just let it go or get over it..they just don't understand its not that easy Sad

i hope to find help and support here, where others feel the same things i feel...

Josh · Posted: Thu October 04, 2007 Post subject:

Welcome to the forums Morgan. I think that I have GAD more so than SA.

Does your GAD symptoms revolve around something specific e.g. work stress?
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capt morgan · Terrified Newbie Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 9

my GAD does revolve around something specific, but it can change...usually its the one thing thats causing me the most stress...like for example a couple of months ago...i bought a car with all the money i had saved so my bank account was wipped out..well the day i bought the oil light came on and almost threw me into hestarics.. i took it back they fixed it for free...but now i drive around always thinking the car is going to break down...which then causes me sometimes not to go out because i get myself so worked up i am peralized with fear...another example back in jan i caught something that made me very sick well it scared me so bad that i could not stop thinking about it for days...i kept thinking i could have worst things...to ease my mind i ended up going into the doctors to have blood work done just to prove to myself i had nothing...my latest issue is with my boyfriend we use two kinds of conterceptives...one the birth control the other a spermacide...anyway i keep freaking myself out that i am pregnant...i have taken like 3 pregnance test all negative...i am so tried of freaking myself out..i know this not normal...and once i get over one thing something else takes its place...probably the reason i am always so tried cause i am always stressed about something... Sad

..i just dont know what to do anymore i am so tired of fight it...

Josh · Posted: Fri October 05, 2007 Post subject:

Usually is the anxiety about expected negative events or unexpected negative events?

For me I tend to feel bad when unexpected negative events happen. I even keep track of them! But I also keep track of the unexpected positive events that happen too.

capt morgan · Terrified Newbie Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 9

no my anxiety is about expected negative events that i think are going to happen...like right now i have been doing a lot of driving to get to work..it cause me stress and alot of anxiety...because i have myself convienced that its only a matter of time before my car gives out on me...to make matters worst, i have to keep these worries to myself because know body understands how i feel....they think i am being silly and i guess my being negative all the time gets on there nerves...but i tell them i can't help these feelings...i hate living like this with the feeling that the axe is goign to fall anythime...sometimes when i am alone like in the bathroom i just burst out crying and cry and cry and cry cause i just wish i could be normal....sometimes i wonder how long i can go like this Confused

....i just don't know anymore...i feel like giving up sometimes..sorry i did not mean to get carried away i guess i had alot on my mind

Josh · Posted: Tue October 09, 2007 Post subject:

Do you also have depression?

You said before that you saw a doctor. Did the doctor help in any way?

capt morgan · Terrified Newbie Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 9

yes i have depression...it usually comes in waves...i saw a social worker or counselor here and there it helps sometimes...before i was in the military i tired to get the doctors to give me meds but they always wanted to try other methods...other things that help are my horse and i exercise alot, these actives seem to relieve some of the stress...but it does not always work, which nothing does there is no perfect cure for this Confused

...now that i am in the military and i fly for a living i cannot take meds so i have been looking at alterative ways to deal with it...reason being why i joined this forum... Wink

Josh · Posted: Wed October 10, 2007 Post subject:

Same with me. I have depression and it really sucks. There is no cure as far as I know. Everyday is a struggle.